My Blog

November 17th, 2016 11:57 AM
The Energy of the Invitation
 
Hard to believe that the holidays are upon us. This means trips to visit family and holiday parties! Sometimes, though, the energy behind the journey or the activity is not carefully considered. Not everyone is equipped with the ability to shelter you and your loved ones.  Are you considering their schedules and their needs before committing them to playing host? And if you are the host in question, are you honoring your need for downtime? Just because someone asks to stay with you for a night or two, doesn’t mean that you are obligated to say yes.  Sometimes your true power comes in the form of a no.
Here are a few tips to honor the Energy of the Invitation:
  • It’s common in many cultures for shoes to be removed. Be observant for a shoe basket in the front of the house, or better yet, just plan on taking them off when you go inside someone’s house for the first time.
  • Ask before surprising your host with a pet or an extra person. I know that many people consider their “fur-babies” as children, but one should never assume that their boundless energy (and dander) will be an acceptable addition to their hosts’ space.
  • Just as good feng shui means that clutter is minimized, so should the footprint of the houseguest be as minor as possible. Ask your host if sheets should be placed in the laundry room, or if they would prefer to wait until a better time to strip the beds. Place used dishes in the dishwasher, and offer to assist with clean up if a meal has been shared.
  • If traveling for an extended period, you might find it comforting to bring a few personal items along. A picture of family, your own pillow, or even a rock from your home will help to keep you grounded. Having a touch of home helps you to retain your identity outside of the chaos.
  • Tokens of appreciation are tangible reminders of the gratitude for the invitation. AirBnB hosts are compensated with rental payment, but a gracious guest will also leave a written note and review for them. For family and friends, though, paying them is transactional and not honoring the intimate connection. Bringing gifts of food, wine, or flowers will convey lasting gratitude for opening their home to you, and who doesn’t love to share a glass of vino with loved ones?
  • If you are a night owl and your host is an early bird, honor their energetic needs by keeping the noise level down for their comfort. Sound is a huge pollution problem, so be aware of how you may be contributing in a positive or negative manner.
  • Be up front with any dietary restrictions. The last thing a host wants to do is to poison the guests! This is part of activating the 5th chakra and clarifying what your needs may be.
The partnership of the experience needs to be filled with gratitude on both sides. As a host, it’s up to you to set the tone for your guests. If they are unconsciously exhibiting entitlement energy due to lack of experience of being a guest, gently ask them to help with dishes, or to strip their bed. This helps them grow for future experiences, and you honor your voice at the same time. If, however, you find that the guest continues to be boorish in their behavior, then you know that you are at choice to make this the last visit! Here’s to many wonderful journeys in your future!
 
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Posted in:General and tagged: Loveholidaytravel
Posted by Beverly Biehl on November 17th, 2016 11:57 AMLeave a Comment

February 12th, 2016 10:15 PM

Recently I found myself on a plane. Not exactly unusual, but the fact that there were only 6 of us passengers was.  It was a ferry flight, one of the planes that had been moved to warmer climes in order to avoid the snowbound mess in the East Coast the previous weekend.

I ended up sitting next to a businessman in First Class discussing my thoughts on how several of his friends were encouraging him to “Freshen Up” his 7 year marriage. Apparently, things had gotten stale in his opinion. The demands of raising two small children, a heavy travel schedule, and too many extended family obligations had him actually considering having an affair to bring some life back in his zipless existence.

As an Empath, this tends to be a normal occurrence. Folks just LOVE to share their most personal, intimate details with me.  This, however, was a new topic. When I think of freshening up, I think of washing my hands, brushing my hair, or touching up my makeup. Never once would I have placed an affair in that category.

Intimate connections, whether physical or emotional, bind us all together. They are the glue of society, and the reason why we have poetry and the music industry. The best connections are those made with an open heart and an open mind. We’ve all had the experience of hitching our wagon to someone that didn’t have respect or integrity for our feelings. It sucked.

Let’s use SuperGlue as an example. If you aren’t being conscious and careful when applying this substance, you can end up adhered to things that you didn’t plan on. Sex is like that, too, except you are also now stuck to all of their partners’ energies as well. I explained to my traveling companion that the way that his friends were “freshening up” was in fact gumming up the partnership with their children’s mothers, a relationship entered into with a vow to be faithful and true.  Naturally, he was still at choice to go that route, but I encouraged him to first try to have an honest conversation with his wife. Let her know that he desires to rekindle the spirit of their marriage with some alone time, away from the children and generational family members. Maybe even consider some individual and couples counseling to get a common vocabulary to help with their communication.  I also asked him if he would be OK if SHE decided to use the same method of “freshening up”… the hard pause said it all.

How are you avoiding the hard questions in your relationships? If you are in one that isn’t working as well as you would like, are you turning to substances or over-focusing on a job to numb yourself to what’s not working? Turning to another as a distraction because you don’t know how to communicate with your partner anymore? Or is it a subtler issue like growing up around a parental pattern of infidelity? If you aren’t in one, then is there a story that all relationships are doomed to fail, that men all cheat, that all women are only in it for the money? All answers begin within. That’s where the questions are, too. It’s dark in there, but I guarantee you, once you turn on the light, it's not nearly as scary as you thought. 


Posted in:General and tagged: LoveSexRelationshipEnergy
Posted by Beverly Biehl on February 12th, 2016 10:15 PMLeave a Comment