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November 27th, 2016 12:06 PM

“Maybe...”

I hope you had a Thanksgiving holiday filled with wonderful food, supportive people, and stress-free travels! However, I’m firmly grounded in the world where bad things take the day off, just so we can live in a moment of perceived perfection. People still die, they still get in car wrecks, still have weird little accidents like shooting a big toe off while in a duck blind. I’ve also heard from many clients about how nervous they were about visiting family members with vastly different political views, or how guilty they felt about “escaping” from an ailing parent, or for the “inevitable” holiday blowup around some long-held childhood grudge/addiction issue/relationship insecurity. Maybe it didn’t happen, maybe it did, but hey, Christmas is just around the corner, so now we can just wait a few more weeks! I’m sure it’ll kick in then! (tongue firmly in cheek here)

I’m not gonna lie. I was one of those people who felt disappointed in the outcome of the election. Soon after the results were announced, I began to notice something extraordinary. Inside all of the cacophony of outrage and cheering, a quiet movement began. One that, at its core, was compassion personified. No, I’m not talking about the safety pin movement (http://elitedaily.com/news/politics/everything-need-consider-wearing-safety-pin-ally/1699257/) or the clarion call for empathy on both sides (http://qz.com/826733/us-election-2016-lack-of-empathy-is-causing-a-toxic-political-environment/). I’m talking about the wake-up call that we all got as a nation during the campaign. It’s mirrored in family units and business relationships as well. Here’s my golden nugget:

We do not live in a vacuum. We all have a part to play, and ALL voices are necessary.

I was speaking to David Barnes, a dear friend who has created an innovative healing modality with his business partner, Sue-Anne MacGregor, using the power of movies. At his recommendation, my husband and I watched “A Late Quartet”, a wonderful 2012 film about the power of teamwork. I found it on Amazon Prime. He articulates this beautifully using this movie’s theme on 5 key elements of teamwork. I highly recommend watching this in a mixed group with ample time afterwards for discussion. Its cerebral message and gorgeous music will instantly transport you above any energetic sludge left over from the holidays. Make no mistake. We are all on the American team. Our Family of Origin team. Our Tribe of Like-Minded Friends team. And many, many other teams that require cooperation with disparate points of view. You can find his changework session notes here: https://peaceofmindovertures.com/heart-aligned-leadership-five-empowering-ways-to-improve-teamwork/ 

Hindsight is always 20/20. We may have just sent our lovely world on a disastrous path towards doom and destruction. Or we may have done the exact opposite and given our collective selves an enormous gift that will draw us together more cohesively than ever before. I am reminded of an old Buddhist proverb:

 

“An old farmer had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. 

"Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.

"Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX0OARBqBp0)

 

It’s perfectly acceptable to feel anger, elation, outrage, joy, disgust, and relief over this governmental transition process. The most important thing is to use this as rocket fuel. Allow it to propel you into action. Funnel it into volunteering for causes that you support, into creative activities, or into your work life. Take off the suit of despair that someone else may have given you. Shrug off the feelings of superiority because “you knew it”. None of that serves you, and simply keeps you locked into an old pattern of isolation and mental stagnation.

Get to know people with opposing ideas. You just might find out that you have more in common than you thought. By doing this, we will all thrive.

Oh, and one more thing. If you are a Female Business Owner and need help to refocus your business strategies, please check out http://www.50shadesofpaid.com/elevate-austin/. We have an Early Bird Pricing special of only $97 until November 30th. On December 1st, the price goes up to $197. Inspiration, Applied Action, and Creative Strategizing happened at the event we did in Plano in October. Your 2017 business is waiting for you to come and play!


Posted by Beverly Biehl on November 27th, 2016 12:06 PMLeave a Comment

February 12th, 2016 10:15 PM

Recently I found myself on a plane. Not exactly unusual, but the fact that there were only 6 of us passengers was.  It was a ferry flight, one of the planes that had been moved to warmer climes in order to avoid the snowbound mess in the East Coast the previous weekend.

I ended up sitting next to a businessman in First Class discussing my thoughts on how several of his friends were encouraging him to “Freshen Up” his 7 year marriage. Apparently, things had gotten stale in his opinion. The demands of raising two small children, a heavy travel schedule, and too many extended family obligations had him actually considering having an affair to bring some life back in his zipless existence.

As an Empath, this tends to be a normal occurrence. Folks just LOVE to share their most personal, intimate details with me.  This, however, was a new topic. When I think of freshening up, I think of washing my hands, brushing my hair, or touching up my makeup. Never once would I have placed an affair in that category.

Intimate connections, whether physical or emotional, bind us all together. They are the glue of society, and the reason why we have poetry and the music industry. The best connections are those made with an open heart and an open mind. We’ve all had the experience of hitching our wagon to someone that didn’t have respect or integrity for our feelings. It sucked.

Let’s use SuperGlue as an example. If you aren’t being conscious and careful when applying this substance, you can end up adhered to things that you didn’t plan on. Sex is like that, too, except you are also now stuck to all of their partners’ energies as well. I explained to my traveling companion that the way that his friends were “freshening up” was in fact gumming up the partnership with their children’s mothers, a relationship entered into with a vow to be faithful and true.  Naturally, he was still at choice to go that route, but I encouraged him to first try to have an honest conversation with his wife. Let her know that he desires to rekindle the spirit of their marriage with some alone time, away from the children and generational family members. Maybe even consider some individual and couples counseling to get a common vocabulary to help with their communication.  I also asked him if he would be OK if SHE decided to use the same method of “freshening up”… the hard pause said it all.

How are you avoiding the hard questions in your relationships? If you are in one that isn’t working as well as you would like, are you turning to substances or over-focusing on a job to numb yourself to what’s not working? Turning to another as a distraction because you don’t know how to communicate with your partner anymore? Or is it a subtler issue like growing up around a parental pattern of infidelity? If you aren’t in one, then is there a story that all relationships are doomed to fail, that men all cheat, that all women are only in it for the money? All answers begin within. That’s where the questions are, too. It’s dark in there, but I guarantee you, once you turn on the light, it's not nearly as scary as you thought. 


Posted in:General and tagged: LoveSexRelationshipEnergy
Posted by Beverly Biehl on February 12th, 2016 10:15 PMLeave a Comment